The World Atlas

Germany

Germany is a shameless nudist paradise beach. It is stuck in the center of Europe, next to the Polish plumbers. Germany is best-known for winning wars, especially against France, and winning football penalty shootouts, especially against England. Today Germany is best buddy to everybody, even with Russia and the Taliban.

Germany doesn't like history that much. Following 1945, West German Chancellor Konrad Adenauer officially encouraged National Amnesia as the new political ideology. If any German was asked if he or she was German they were to deny it and pretend to be Swiss. In East Germany the Russians treated their satellite/allies more severely and did not allow them to leave their country. When some ignored this and crossed into West Berlin, the East Germans called in the builders.

France

France or République française as it is officially known, is the largest European scumhole, surpassing Germany for cultural stereotypes and social unrest. The French have also have a great claim to fame by having overpowering unions, which have led to slow industry and the country being in perpetual recession.

French culture is world famous, with many other countries following France’s lead on snooty pretentions and imitation Italian artwork. France's politics are vague and corrupt; however most agree that France is run by an Illuminati and pointless European bureaucracy.

Czechia

The Czech Republic is a country in Central Europe. It was once united with Slovakia until 1991, a marriage made after World War One. They had a trial separation in 1938 but agreed to re-unite in 1945 to expel the Germans from their country. The country now proposes to call itself Czechia.

The most important subject in Czechia was, is and will always be the beer. The annual beer consumption per capita in the Czechia is 156.9 Litres including toddlers, which is the highest in the world (and about two times as much as in the U.S.). The words "Pilsener" and "Budweiser" come from the Czech towns and major breweries Pilsen and Budweis.

During most of its history, Czechia was enslaved by the nearby Germany - Czechs were forced to brew beer for Germans. Today, Czechs are forced to brew beer for everyone. Many companies steal Czech trademarks and then become one of the biggest companies in the US, such as the American wannabe "Budweiser".

Italy

Italy is a country that is slightly better than France, located in southern Europe. Originally known as the Roman Empire, Italy is home to some of the most amazing engineering marvels including the Colosseum, a tower that's falling over, and a city run entirely on religion. Despite high prices, Italy continues to serve as one of the top tourist destinations for fine dining, visiting museums, and getting robbed.

Early Italians were the inventors of food itself and thus food remains a very important aspect of Italian culture. Ancient Roman documents have suggested that while the rest of the world was eating rocks, twigs, and dirt, Italians were dining on mud with tomato sauce. However, we know that claims like these are nothing more than legends since tomatoes are not indigenous to Italy and were brought over from the New World. Thus, the first Italian food probably consisted of mud with basil, and possibly mozzarella.